Christmas Card 2013

I know this awkward family photo thing is now played out, but it's fun, okay? Especially with Diego sitting next to me cracking up as I go along.

We didn't get around to taking pictures for a real card. So this is all we've got! 

Christmas with the Flu

Twas just days before Christmas and Mommy was done
With shopping and wrapping and was ready for fun.
She had finished her work to enjoy the season,
But that wouldn't happen for a very sad reason.

The flu.

Last weekend Eliana had a fever that lasted two days with no other symptoms. She was just tired and had no energy, but no cough, runny nose, nothing. So when Camila came down with a fever on Wednesday, I didn't think it was more than what Eliana had.

Little did I know.

When i was parked at the school waiting to pick up the boys, Mila threw up on herself and her carseat. She was lethargic and wanted to be held for the rest of the day. She threw up again after dinner. Marcelo and I had to go to dinner at the Bishop's house, so we asked my mom to watch the girls. She said Mila had good moments and bad, but no fever when she went to bed. When we checked on her before heading to bed that night, her fever was 103.4. We woke her up, gave her meds, and wet her head trying to bring down the fever. We would have put her in the bath, but she was shaking. She drank a little water and fell asleep in our bed. We checked on her all night. The fever never dropped below 102. On Thursday, I was a zombie. My angel of a mom picked up Eliana so I could sleep with Mila. Again she had a fever all day, between 100.8 and 103.2. Her eyes were watery and her rose was runny. She was coughing, but very little. I felt like I should take her in because I was worried about her getting an ear infection, and the word pneumonia was floating around in my mind. But for some dumb reason, I decided to give it another day. Dumb.

After another sleepless night, I called the doc first thing. They got me in right away. I was a tad late because Camila threw up just was we were leaving. (That's really the story of my life with 4 kids close in age.) I had already given her ibuprofen but her fever was was still 103.1 when the nurse checked it. The nurse took one look at her puffy eyes and said, "She has the flu." They gave her that torturous test and confirmed in less than two minutes that it was Influenza A. I teared up immediately knowing what this would mean for our family. The doctor came in and said "The good news is that you're within the 48 hour window, so Tamiflu should work and she should be much much better by Sunday, walking around and acting like herself." I asked what happens if we didn't make the 48 hour window...is she just sick for longer? and then he said the worst thing he's said to me in almost 8 years. I love the guy and I really, truly trust him more than any other doctor I've been to, but what he said to me was messed up. He said, and I quote, "Yes, she'll be sick for longer and could have complications. Complications of the flu are pneumonia and death. People die from the flu every year."

Let's just let that sink in for a moment. I haven't slept well in two days at this point. I've been caring round the clock for my baby who is sicker than I've ever seen in almost 8 years of being a parent, and I just found out that my baby has the flu, a virus that is highly contagious, and I'm sitting here processing it and thinking of all the ways that the rest of my family has already been exposed. And THIS is what he says to me. I started to cry but tried so hard to hold it together as I asked questions. I sat there kicking myself because this is the first year I decided to not get the kids flu shots. I had an appointment, but I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that I shouldn't make them get it. I got one myself because my doctor pressured me into it, so we'll see if it does anything.

I was still shaken up when I got home. I had almost nothing in my house that I could give Mila because I hadn't been able to go to the store. I called family first, then visiting teachers, but no one was available. Next I texted a lifesaver of a friend who was able to pick my boys up from school and bring me pedialyte for Mila. After 3 kids who have never once refused to take their medicine, I had no clue what to do when Mila wouldn't take the Tamiflu. She spit it out, clamped her mouth shut, and just flat out refused. I finally discovered that if I held her in my lap with her head hanging off my knees and very very slowly squirted tiny amounts of it into her mouth she couldn't spit it out. It was pure torture for her and for me. I spent the rest of the day holding her and trying (and failing) to keep the rest of the kids away from her. Eliana just did not understand the concept. Well, she understood but refused to comply.

Later that night my dad came over and he and Marcelo gave blessings all around. Mine said something about me being able to figure out how to help the kids. A little while later, it was time to give Mila tamiflu and I really didn't want to torture her again. I decided to make some really chocolatey chocolate milk and put the tamiflu in that. I tasted it and it still tasted like the bitter medicine. I prayed and basically said, "Please let this taste good to her." Then Camila, who at this point hadn't eaten in two days and had thrown up the little that she tried to eat, chugged that milk like it was the best ever and didn't throw it up! Such a relief.

Today is Sunday and so far, Camila has no fever. If it stays that way for the next couple of days, we won't have to take her in for a chest xray. Fingers crossed. But Diego has had a fever and cough since yesterday and Eliana seems like she'll be next.

This is what I'm bummed about: For the next week or so, I'm going to be worried everyday that someone else is coming down with the flu. I'm going to be checking temperatures nonstop and stressing about every cough or every time my kid looks like he has puffy eyes. There is no telling if they'll wake up feverish on Christmas, which would mean not getting to be with family for the Christmas festivities. There is no telling if we'll arrive at our destination for our Christmas vacation, only to have to keep a child out of the cold and snow because he's super sick. I'm really really bummed about having that hang over me. I'm also bummed because Eliana is missing the last SIX Sundays of nursery. By the time she's back at church, she'll be in Sunbeams. I'm probably way sadder about this than she'll be. This has always been an iffy time of year for us church wise because at least one kid is sick every other week, but this year has been the worst. I had sick kids two weeks in a row, then we went to my parents' ward over thanksgiving, and then two more weeks of sick kids, and next week we'll be out of town. Pretty sure that makes me inactive. And I'm not going to lie, when my husband left this morning for his 7ish hour church day, leaving me to deal with the sickies on my own, I was pretty jealous. Church would feel like a vacation.

Praying for a miracle! All I want for Christmas is a healthy family!

December 14th

Today is the one year anniversary of the Sandy Hook elementary school shooting. That horrible tragedy was one that affected me deeply since I had kids the same ages as the victims when it happened. It also happened at a point in my life where I had a lot of anxiety about the safety of my children. I felt what it was to mourn with those who mourn as I cried for days for the families who lost a child that day.

So this year, as the anniversary neared, I felt a lot of those feelings all over again. I decided that I was going to keep my kids home from school on the Friday before the one year mark. Part of it was because I just felt a little anxious about sending them that day, but a big part of it was that I decided to use the day to kind of shower my kids with love and not take them for granted. It's hard to put into words what I was thinking, and trying to makes me cry. But it was like I was telling the Sandy Hook victims, "Look! Because of you, parents everywhere hold their kids a little tighter." It makes sense in my head.

So we went to the zoo. We spent the day there taking our time to look at the animals, eat our packed lunch, pretend to be vets, and play in the sand. Mila loved the sand! It was all so very good for my soul. They all behaved the entire time and had big smiles on their faces. It was one of those rare perfect days where all goes better than planned. My only regret is not taking more pictures. Diego kept asking me to and I kept saying, "We're just going to enjoy it, not take pictures of it."

I love the shot of Celo looking up at the giraffe that was directly above him.

So so grateful to be Mommy to these 4 awesome kids.

That Time I Laughed All Day

We were invited to a White Elephant/Dirty Santa Christmas Party. I waited until the last minute to figure out what to get. On Thursday, I looked up ideas online and the one that stood out the most was to gift a framed picture of yourself. I called Marcelo and told him that when he got home we needed to take goofy pictures of ourselves to put in a frame. But it was Thursday, aka Crapday, so by the time he got home from school, it was almost 11 and I didn't remember this idea until we were almost asleep. I said, "Maybe I'll find existing pictures and photoshop a Santa hat onto us or something." In the morning, another idea hit me and we had this series of texts:

Me: Is it funny if I put our faces on random famous couples? Like the duck dynasty people, Mr. and Mrs. Claus...that's all I've thought of so far.

Marcelo: Sure.

Me: Sure is not convincing.

Marcelo: That's because I can't see the pics. It's like saying do you think a half horse half me is funny? It's hard to know without seeing. But the half horse would be funny.

Me: That's a good one. If I can find modest ones.

Me a little while later: Our heads on an ice staking couple in a great pose. Check your email.

This was the first one I did. I was dying laughing. During the girls' naps I just Photoshopped pictures and emailed them to him.  I had about 45 minutes to look for pictures and Photoshop them. I was taking my time at first, but by the end I was out of time and stopped trying to make them look real.

Later I had to take Celo to the dentist. As they worked on his teeth, I sat in a corner and laughed like an idiot every time I looked at that ice skating picture on my phone. I must have seemed crazy. Seriously, just look at it again. Marcelo's pose! Amazing.

After the dentist, I picked up the pictures and put them into a frame. My mom was at my house and we were cracking up. The kids were so confused, though. They were like, "When did you guys do these things?" I had some explaining to do.

Here is the completed gift:

I saved the mullet one, blonde one, and synchronized swimmers to show Marcelo when he got home. I was crying laughing showing him the mullet picture. I need it in an 8x10 in my bedroom. And I need the ice skaters in poster size. It's a bad mood killer!!

As we drove to the party, we thought, "This might only be funny to us. But oh well!" I also thought, "What if someone else does the same thing?" I told my good friend at the party that our gift might only be funny to us and she said that she and her husband felt the same way about their gift. That ended up being hilarious because their gift was also a framed picture of them! Great minds think alike. In the end, it was funnier than we expected it to be. The whole night was hilarious. So grateful for awesome friends. :)

Here's a close up look at these priceless family heirlooms.

Googling centaur is very dangerous. Don't do it. This is the only not scandalous centaur couple picture right here, so there's no need to go searching for another:

To go along with the Duck Dynasty craze happening right now. Even though we've never seen it:

This would not have made the cut if I had thought to search Awkward Family Photos earlier in the process. Sadly, I didn't think of that till the end!

Synchronized swimmers. Marcelo's idea. Did this one in a huge rush.

And then it hit me. Search Awkward Family Photos. By this time I had like 5 minutes left to pick a picture, photoshop it, and send them all to print. Oh the fun that could have been had!

I should never go blonde.

But Marcelo should really try to grow a beautiful head of hair like this one.

 As Marcelo said at the party, "Keep in mind that she can do this to anyone's picture at any time." Oh yes, friends and family. I can. And I will.

Personal Junk Your Probably Don't Need to Read

Last night was a pretty awful one. Eliana is really sick, so she slept in our bed. Never a fun time. Around 3, I woke up to, "Mommy, I need to go potty." After I took her to the bathroom, I could not fall back asleep for two hours. I laid there praying, "Please just let me fall asleep!" But sleep didn't come. Instead I thought about this blog post. Which was weird because it's not something I was planning on ever writing. But I guess I will.

Recently, it was brought to my attention that it's possible that I may come off as braggy on Facebook and Instagram. When I post things I do with my kids or as a family, it can be seen as show-offy. I feel pretty dumb. Naive. Whatever you want to call it. 

I've heard many moms talk about how hard it is to be a mom at this time because there are so many ways to see what other moms are doing and compare yourself to them. Moms will look at Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, blogs, etc, and feel bad about themselves because of what other moms are doing. While I understand how some could feel this way, I haven't felt that way myself, so I didn't really stop to think that anything I post online could make someone else feel that way. Let me explain.

I have SO many talented friends. One friend knits and crotchets the cutest things and sells them. Another sells adorable things she sews. Other friends make up recipes and have a popular blog and a couple of cookbooks. Another friend is such a talented writer that reading her blog about life with 5 kids cracks me up and makes me cry at the same time. Another friend is an amazing photographer. Another friend knows how to save her family tons of money by being a savvy shopper and couponing. Another friend has a year's worth of Family Home Evening lessons all ready to go in a binder and is great at finding teaching opportunities for her kids. Another friend is great at keeping an organized, spotless house. Another friend recently built a table for 10 using 2x4s, power tools, and her bare hands. When she was done with that, she built a slide next to her banister so coming down the stairs could be a tad bit more fun. After that, she cut a whole out of the wall in her sons' room to make a loft in the attic. Did I mention she has 6 kids and homeschools? And makes almost all her own food from scratch due to several allergies in the family? When I saw the pictures she posted of all the projects she's been doing, you know what I did? I sent her a message telling her how amazing she was. I sent her husband a message telling him his wife was Supermom. You know why? Because she is my FRIEND. And I love her. So her talents/abilities do not make me sad. They don't make me feel like I am less of a mother/wife. They don't make me roll my eyes with jealousy. They make me happy for her. They make me admire her. I feel that way about all of my friends. What's the point of being friends if you can't be happy for each other, support each other, and lift each other up? Really. What's the point? When someone I know is good at something, I tell them so. When someone I know is good at something I want to be good at, I ask them to teach me. That's how I started doing summer themes with my kids. My sister in law told me about what she was doing with her girls and I had seen some pictures of little field trips they took. It didn't make me roll my eyes and call her a show off. It made me think that sounded really fun, so I asked her to tell me how she planned it. 

The thing I have a hard time understanding...and I really don't mean any of this post to come off in a mean spirited way at all...is why moms compare themselves so much. I mean, to me, the bottom line is that my kids are never going to want to trade moms with someone else. Well, maybe when they're teenagers, who knows. But right now, they may think someone else is fun, a great cook, has a much more beautiful house, etc, but they will never want someone else to be their mom. I'm their mom. They know I love them. They love me. So what's the point of looking at someone else and thinking, "She's a better mom than I am because of X"? To my kids, she's not! My kids were sent to me because I am meant to be their mom. God has given me the talents/abilities that I need to meet their needs and help them on the path of life. So I just don't feel the need to compare myself. That doesn't mean I don't look at someone else and say, "Dang, I wish I knew how to use power tools." Or "I wish I knew how to sew" or "She seems like such a positive and loving mom. I want to be that kind of mom." But the key is that it doesn't make me 1) annoyed/jealous that another mom knows how to do those things, and 2) feel like I am less because I don't. 

I feel like I get down on myself enough on my own without adding anyone else into the mix! I think most moms are hard on themselves because we're all just very concerned about doing a good job. So there are many days where I go to bed and think back on the day and think, "Man, I sucked today. I raised my voice too much, I wasn't patient enough, I didn't give the kids any outside time, I still didn't fold that laundry..." the list goes on. But I also try to celebrate my victories, too. Sometimes Marcelo will come home from work and I'll whisper to him, "I haven't lost my cool a single time today." And he'll give me a high five because he gets it. 

I've been having a lot of emotional struggles for a long time. I haven't talked about them on here because I have just wanted to keep them private. And I haven't really felt like I could put into words how I am feeling. It's not because I'm trying to paint a perfect picture of my life. I think my closest friends and family know how far from picture perfect it is! I write on this blog to record all these things for my kids. And I haven't felt like it was time to talk about what I've been going through on here just yet. But the point is, I haven't wanted my kids to be affected by the way I've been feeling, so I've kind of overcompensated by going over the top with the stuff I do for them. I've gone out of my way to make things extra fun and special. And in doing that, it has made me feel better emotionally. Putting smiles on their faces puts a smile on mine. Honestly, I feel pretty annoyed at myself that I feel like I need to justify or explain why I do what I do. Because that means that I've let other people's opinions of me affect me and I really try not to do that. 

This whole experience has made me decide to share less. Or be more choosy about who I share with. I've always shared because the only reason I do a lot of things I do is because someone else shared and taught me the idea. I've gotten new family traditions that way, I've streamlined things in my life that way, I've gotten a new go-to recipe that way, and on and on. But this has just kind of made me think it's probably better to be a little less open at times. I think...I hope...that the people who know me well know that I am not a pompous show off. I'm very self-deprecating. I make fun of myself A LOT. It's a habit that has stuck since high school. I never ever try to make others feel less than. If I have ever done that to any of my friends, I am very sorry. Friendships are so important to me. Having a sisterhood means so much to this sister-less girl. And I THINK I'm a supportive friend. I am a loyal friend. I strive to lift, not tear down. I hope I am doing that to all the people closest to me. I hope I can teach my kids how to be that kind of friend.

Final thoughts after I have gone back and read this and agonized whether to hit publish or not:

1. I am very flawed. I have a lot of short comings. I do not think I'm better than anyone. I do not mean any of this post to sound like I think I'm super enlightened and awesome because I try hard to not compare myself to other moms. 

2. I'm really grateful for all the friends and family I have who love and support me, even with all my flaws.

3. Ugh, this is all so very dramatic. I'm done. I'll go back to posting pictures of my crazy kids now.

Crazy Girl

Eliana goes from sweet to psycho in 16 seconds. Camila barely notices, as she is just too used to her sister's crazy/scary voice.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151687103851269&l=7544366871731559094

Thankful

It's November, the month where we focus on all of our blessings. Our thankful tree is up and the kids love putting up a new lead each night. I'm instangramming my thankful list daily. It's just convenient. So here's the recap of the last 10 days.

Day 1: Thankful for sweet Diego. (kids get mentioned on their birth dates)

Day 2: Thankful for angel Camila.

Day 3: Thankful that my girls nap daily. It's precious time!!

Day 4: SO thankful I get to be Mommy to these 4 beautiful kids. (Took that miracle shot with my camera on self timer mode. Miracle!)

Day 5: Thankful for nitrous oxide...the only thing that kept Celo from freaking out at the dentist.

Day 6: Thankful that 3 out of 4 kids eat their veggies and ask for more. In the picture, Celo is stealing green beans off my plate. Take a wild guess who hates all healthy food.

Day 7: Thankful for morning walks and the awesome pictures Eliana takes on my phone while I exercise.

Day 8: Thankful for doctors and blood tests that figured out my health issues.

Day 9: Thankful that the internet makes it easy to but used things from other moms. Double jogging stroller for 25? Yes, please!

Day 10: This was the caption I put on the photo - Thankful for 10 years with my Ben Stiller look alike. (Or so we're told.) It's been 10 years of joy, laughter, and a rapidly receeding hairline. He responded, "I knew you laughed for 10 years, but I hadn't realized it was at my ever balding noggin." I replied, "It's a beautiful bald head, I think we both know that." I love that guy.

Eliana the 13 year old

I posted this picture on Instagram earlier this week. For the second day in a row, Eliana wanted to make her own lunch. I got everything out for her and she did the rest herself. She cut up a banana using the IKEA kid knives (I love the IKEA plates, cups, forks, spoons, etc!) and spread peanut butter on two slices of bread. She did so good! If we had any honey, she would have squirted that on top, but we're currently out. I'm only buying local honey now (for the kids' allergies) and they only sell it at a couple of places. Tangent.



Anyway, so I posted this on Instagram with the caption, "She makes her own lunch. She also dresses herself head to toe including shoes, socks, and a ponytail. You know what? I'm just going to say it. Girls are smarter than boys. ;)" (I was kidding.)

And I was going to leave it at that, but then two different people mentioned to me how advanced she is, and I thought, I should blog this. I'm positive that when she's older, she will love to hear it. So this is not meant to be boastful at all. I am seriously just amazed by this child.

Looking back, it seems like all signs pointed to her being a teenager trapped in a child's body since the beginning. When she was born, she was wide awake and super alert taking in everything around her:

Then there was the attitude face she mastered at just 6 months old:

And the womanly hair she had from the start (1 year old):

I mean seriously. She already looked so old at 2 years old!:

And was already trying to make us laugh at every opportunity:

When Camila was born, people told me my boys would be able to help. HA!! No. They were not interested. But my two year old brought me diapers and wipes like a champ. She was a mini mommy.

I think the thing with Eliana is that she has been convinced that she's grown up since she was born.

This girl is SO full of personality, spunk, life, whatever you want to call it. She is a character. She cracks us up daily. Sometimes it's bad! She uses her skills of hilarity to get herself out of trouble. Dinner time (any meal time, really) is the worst time for the parent/Eliana relationship because she refuses to eat pretty much anything. She's the pickest eater we have. So at mealtimes is when she gets herself into trouble. We'll be sitting at dinner and we'll tell her to eat for the 1,000th time. She fights it and fights it, until the moment she realizes, "Uh oh...they're starting to get upset." At that point she starts pulling out all the stops to make us laugh. She makes faces, funny noises, says silly things, whatever it takes to get us to crack. And we fall for it. It's too hard not to.

One night, she was not doing a great job at accepting the fact that it was bedtime. She was trying to use her funny antics on me to get me to be fine with letting her stay up. I was sitting on her bed firmly telling her it was time for her to stay in bed, and she started to make funny faces to soften me up. I held strong and pointed at my face and said, "Do you see my sad face?" She looked at me for a second and then got a giant smile on her face and said, "Do you see my happy face?" And then started cracking up. This is her trick that works every time: If Mommy is mad, just laugh at what she's saying with your big giant belly laugh until it's contagious and she can't help but laugh with you. I'll sit by her bed and say, "Eliana, why are you getting up tonight? It's time for bed! Why aren't you being a good listener?" And she'll reach out and caress my face and say, "Mommy, why are you so beautiful? HAHAHAHAHA" and start cracking up like she's soooo clever because she just complimented mommy and made her annoyance dissipate. It is impossible not to smile. IMPOSSIBLE.

Marcelo says that the things she says scare him because she sounds like a 6 year old half the time. We walked into Bed Bath and Beyond this week and were standing by the candles and she very quietly and nonchalantly said to no one in particular, "This store smells GREAT." This may be mommy (and daddy) goggles, but we just looked at each other like, "Great? Really? She talks like an adult." When Marcelo gets home from work, he can count on her to fill him in on what he missed. Like so, "Daddy, today we were playing outside and Camila was crawling because she didn't want to be walking, so she was crawling and then she scraped her knees and she got an owie. She was bleeding but she didn't cry. I got the band-aids for Mommy." At which point she'll turn to me and say, "I was telling Daddy what happened to Camila." Having a conversation with her is no different than having a conversation with the boys. It's weird. Especially after raising two boys who were nothing like this. Sure, they were super smart and adorable and knew their ABCs, but did they dress themselves at this age? Like 40% of the time. Did they know how to put their socks and shoes on by themselves? No. Did they show any interest in making their own lunches? Uh, definitely not. Did they have the vocabulary she does? Nope. Did they know how to write letters? Um, pretty much the letter O. And she writes tons of letters! Like I said, she thinks she's all grown up.

I posted this on Instagram a couple of weeks ago with the caption, "Eliana needs her own show." This perfectly demonstrates her personality.

I can't express how grateful I am that I get to be her mom. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father sent me 4 beautiful kids who are each special in their own way and who make it clear to me on a daily basis that we all come to earth with a built in personality!

Update

This is what's going on in our lives right now. Marcelo is furloughed because of this ridiculous government shutdown. While it's great to have him home (well...kind of home...I'll get to that), it's a stressful time for our family. We don't know how long it will last or when he will be able to return to work. We're having to think about things I always hoped we wouldn't have to think about. It sucks.

Since he's been "home", he hasn't been able to stay still. He's the kind of guy that needs to be busy. He's a worker bee. So on the first day, he tackled a cabinet project in the garage. Then he spent a day helping someone we know that needed some home repairs. Then he had to go to our rental house and spend several hours fixing the broken deck. He has also spent time helping his parents put in new floors. Since, as my dad informed me, "all work and no play" would make Marcelo a dull boy, my dad has taken him out to play golf so he can have some stress relief. This is a big sacrifice for my dad. ;)

Tomorrow he might start a big project we need to tackle. This is not the way we wanted these things to get done, but we have to try to look at the bright side!

Another bright side, the kids have loved having him home and ask him to take them to school every morning. It's a nice break for me! The extra family time has been great for all of us.

Come on, Government, GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!

Catching Up

Confession time.

I've been working on "catching up" for weeks now. Pretty much since school started. Want to know what I've caught up on? Nothing. How do the days fly by? How do I get so little done? I keep trying to tell myself that this is just where I am in life, but it's not helping.

Things I need to catch up on:

• Laundry
• Sock matching (worst. job. ever.)
• Dusting
• Cleaning and organizing closets, which includes taking out the kids' clothes that they've grown out of and bringing out the next size
• Blogging (hahahahahhaha, never going to happen)
• Editing several photoshoots
• Taming the paper clutter
• Cleaning under the beds
• De-cluttering pretty much every room
• Re-stocking up on household items via couponing (I used to have multiple bottles of dish and laundry detergent...now, half a bottle of laundry detergent left and then I better run to the store)
• Meal planning - been winging it for months
• Deep cleaning pretty much everything
• A million other things

I have suddenly become quite obsessive about having every corner of my house organized. But is it? Nooooo. Not even a tiny bit close. It's the opposite. So it frustrates me and stresses me out to no end on a daily basis. It's ridiculous.

Every time I walk into my house, I look up at my once beautiful wall of pictures and I see a spot missing a frame, where we had a play date accident and my beautiful frame broke. I think, "I need to get a new frame." But when?

Every time I walk into my kitchen, and look at my counter I think, "GAHHHH, this corner full of papers is driving me craaaazzzyyyyy. I need to look through this stuff and throw it out!" But have I? Nope.

Every time I walk into my bedroom, I think, "Just kill me." It's bad. Most neglected room of the house. That's kind of Camila's fault because her crib is in there, so I can never go in there to work on it when she's napping. I really really want to move her out, but that would first require a whole lot of re-organizing and it just hasn't happened.

Every time I walk into the living room, I look at my stained rug and I think, "I have got to get out the Resolve and try to get these spots out." But....there's always a but.

Every time I walk into the kids' rooms....wait. I don't. I'd rather live in ignorant bliss and believe them when they say they are cleaning it.

Seriously, what happened to me? This stuff used to roll off my back and I could overlook it and not worry. But lately, it is driving me insane. Insane, I say. If I had a million dollars, I would hire a professional organizer in a heartbeat.

I know it is completely unrealistic to think that I will be able to be a killer wife, raise 4 happy kids, keep up with their schoolwork and extra curricular activities, fulfill my church calling, cook balanced meals, keep a spotless and completely organized house, and have a side job as a photographer all at the same time. But dang it, I want to.

I've decided that the only way to lower the stress level is to at least try. So little by little, I'm trying to de-junk and get things more organized. There's just one little hang up: I'm really bad at it. I'm not a naturally organized person. Well, besides my pantry. For some reason, I keep my pantry looking like it's straight out of Sleeping with the Enemy ("labels OUT"). But everything else feels kind of chaotic. And I'm flippin' tired of it.

I feel bad because recently I have felt like I have neglected many other parts of my life, like spending time with friends and family or having any kind of a social life. But I just NEED to feel like things are more in order, so I choose to stay home and "get things done". It never feels like I do, but slowly I'm chipping away at the projects on my list. This week I filled up a bag full of linens to give away,  boxed up Camila's smaller clothes to give away, and matched some of the dang socks. Slowly but surely.

Now that I've outed myself as OCD, I better stop wasting time on the computer!

8 KIDS

Today I survived a full day of taking care of 8 kids ages 8 and under on my own. More importantly, they survived.

Let the record show.

If you're wondering how it went, well...it's 9:35 and I'm going to bed. Me. Who goes to bed at midnight on a nightly basis.

Zzzzzzzzzzz.

(P.S. I love every single one of those kids. But next time, I need backup.)

Eliana's Cuteness

Marcelo just took the boys to Chuck E Cheese for Diego's class reunion. (Yeah...his teacher had two reunions this summer so the kids could see each other. She's way nice.) I'm supposed to be cleaning the aftermath of today's events. Today was not a great day. Celo and Eliana decided to play dress up in my closet and dumped half of Marcelo's clothes on the floor. They are still there for me to clean up later. Then Diego spilled a whole bag of popcorn kernels in the pantry and I spent the next hour fishing them out of Camila's mouth because she kept finding ones we missed. Super fun.

Anyway, just now I was cleaning up the after dinner mess and Eliana was asking me for "yogurt with a straw". (Just a mix of milk and yogurt so she can drink it through a straw.) She was asking so nicely and trying so hard to be cute. Our conversation:

Me: Why are you so cute?
E: Because I am.
Me: But WHY?
E: Because I AAAAAMMMM.
Me: But WHYYYYY?
E: Because I will live with Him someday.
Me: Live with who? Heavenly Father?
E: Yes. Always I love Him.
Me: You love Heavenly Father?
E: Yes. And Jesus.
Me: You love Jesus, too?
E: Yeah. And Mommy.

Okay fine you can have yogurt with a straw and anything you ever want ever.

That Time Diego was Inappropriate

I should be packing for our trip, but I have to record this before I forget.

Not to be inappropriate, but this is a conversation between me and Diego this morning. At least the way it played out in my sleepy head at 7am.

Diego: Mommy!! Guess where I came from!
Me: Where?
Diego: Your anus!!
Me: WHAT??
Diego: Yeah! That's where I came from. I came from your anus!
Me: What are you talking about Diego??
Diego: Where I'm from! Celo's from Saturn, and I'm from Uranus.
Me: OHHHHHH. Maybe pick another planet to be from.
Diego: Why? I like Uranus!

It's space week at our house. I should have caught on faster.

Family Week

For family week I pretty much put the word "Family" in front of everything and called it good. Just kiding. Kind of.

"Family" Zoo day.

We met up with cousins at the zoo. I have to admit, I felt like a superhero that day. It was my first time taking them all to the zoo and I was nervous about how it would go. But the kids listened SO well, they had a blast, and we made it out of there safe and sound without any major problems or meltdowns. Super. Hero. I have a bazillion days filled with regrets and kick myself moments, so it feels great to have superhero days every once in awhile.

It rained, which just made it even more fun. Until they heard thunder and made us leave.

The next day, we went to the movies with Tata and some friends to see Madacascar 3. I only attempted this because all 3 of my older kids like this movie, which cannot be said for hardly any other movies. THIS was not a superhero day. This was something I will not be doing again. If I hadn't been there with my mom and friend, we would have lasted 30 minutes...until Mila's diaper change. Thankfully I was able to leave the kids with them so I could change Mila by myself. But it pretty much went downhill after that because she never fully calmed back down. I spent the last 20ish minutes in the aisle letting her crawl up and down the gross stairs. Desperation. Next time, only Diego is invited to the movies. He's the only one who really likes them anyway.













We also went to park as a family. Did some exploring and saw a tree that had been uprooted. Pretty cool.

"Family" duet.

The kids spent two days with my mom because I got to go to the youth Pioneer Trek activity put on by our church. I was there just to take pictures and it was absolutely AWESOME. That will be a whole separate post. Here's me getting ready to go, and then one of me and the other two trek photographers. I love this picture. It just makes me remember how happy I was that day.

We woke up to a special Father's Day breakfast, courtesy of Diego and Celo. They are so sweet and thoughtful, but also trying to give us diabetes. Cupcake with chocolate icing, cookie, pretzels, almonds (whoa, something healthy!) and chocolate. For church, Marcelo wore a tie the kids made him a few years ago. One of our Family Week activities had been to make him a Father's Day present, but I didn't take pictures of it. The kids made him a book talking about all the things they love about him. It was really sweet.

In the afternoon, we met up with family at the park to celebrate all the fathers.

Summer!!! Beach Week

Summer is here and so far it has been one of our best summers yet. I'm not pregnant, I don't have a newborn, the boys are old enough to do chores, they understand the meaning of "quiet time", the girls take naps at the same time most days...who knew summer didn't have to be miserable??
Buuuuut, we're like two weeks in, so we'll see how long this holds up.
The big negatives are that I don't have enough strong swimmers to be able to take them to the pool or beach on my own, and Eliana is still too daredevil-y and uncoordinated for me to safely take all 4 to the park on my own. Next summer when Eliana is 4, I think I'll be able to do these things without needing back up. Looking forward to that phase of life!
So since I need the kids to have fun even though we'll be home more often than I'd like, I'm doing my themed weeks again. I am forever grateful to my sister in law for introducing me to this idea. This is our third summer doing it and my kids get so into it. I'm going to try to document it so one day I can show them this and they can say, "Thanks, Mom. You were awesome!" Heck yes, I was. Perhaps I was too strict, perhaps not the most organized, and for sure I fell short in a lot of ways, but gosh darn it, I was good at summer.
Again, we're two weeks in, so...it's possible I'll be singing a different tune by mid-July.
I'll probably mostly document the summer with phone pictures/instagram pictures. It's just the easiest!
Week 1 was Birthday week. We celebrated Eliana's birthday, Tata CecI's birthday, and went to a friend's bday party. We made cupcakes and birthday cards. Pictures to come.
This week was beach week. It started out rainy, but in the end, the sun came out and we were able to go to the beach. The sand I made with flour and baby oil was a huge hit and kept them entertained for a long time on three separate days. Woo hoo! I bought palm tree straws at the dollar store and we had smoothies. We also had pineapple dole whips, but the recipe I tried was a bust. We played a beachball game where we had to answer different questions, and played musical towels at a playdate with our friends that are doing the themed weeks with us. We also collected shells at the beach and painted them. Here are the pictures:

Mother's Day

This year in the days leading up to Mother's Day, I was acutely aware that we were about to celebrate a holiday that is tough on a larger portion of the population than people realize. I had several people on my mind who have lost their mother, who want to be a mother but haven't been able to, or who are otherwise suffering. Life is so unfair sometimes. But despite the hard things we all go through, I KNOW that there is a greater plan. I KNOW that we have a Father in Heaven who loves each one of us, who knows what we need better than we do, and in whose plan we should trust, even when it's hard. I hope that all the people in my life who are having a hard time can find peace in that knowledge. It's the only thing that has ever helped me through the darkest times in my life.

About my Mother's Day. My kids were so excited to give me their presents this year. They both made books at school for me, and Diego made me this plate.


I know his teacher helped him because when I caught him practicing at home it looked like this:
Nice
Awesome
Tired
Happy
Amazing
Loving
Yamazing

I looked at it and said, "Tired???" And he laughed and said, "Well, you ARE!" He's right. Oh so right. And yamazing describes me pretty yaccurately, so I liked that one.

Marcelo also took them to the Dollar Tree to pick out a gift for me. Eliana got me a brush, which was fitting because she always takes mine. Diego got me some coconut scented body wash that smells just like heaven/the beach. And Celo....oh Celo. He got me a colorful pack of erasers. When I excitedly exclaimed, "Erasers!! I LOVE erasers! Yes! Thank you!!" he looked a little disappointed. He was like, "Oh....I didn't know you liked erasers." The kid wanted them for himself and was hoping I'd be quick to throw them aside. I told him we could share them.

On Saturday morning, Marcelo said he was going to Lowe's with the boys. So I quickly printed out the plans for some DIY shelves I've been eyeing. I laid it on thick with the "hinting". He dutifully bought the materials and made them for me. The kids put on hard hats and watched, while I spazzed about the fact that they were 6 feet away from a circular saw. They survived. Can't wait to put my new shelves up! I'll take pictures. Of course.

On Sunday morning I got to sleep till 8. Then my sweet family gave me a pancake and strawberry breakfast, and I got to take my sweet time getting ready for church. For the last time. Since I will now be rushing to get our brood ready on my own on Sunday mornings. Fun times ahead! The kids couldn't even wait for breakfast to be over to give me my presents from school and the Dollar Tree. Diego made me the sweetest card ever and made me cry. I'm keeping it forever, but here's a back up, written just like he wrote it:

Dear Mommy
Happy Mother's Day!
Have a great Mothers Day.
I love you so much.
I really hope your happy!!
I want you to have the best Mothers Day ever!
You are the best.
Love, Diego

He drew a picture of the two of us on a hill holding hands with a smiling sun looking down on us.

At church I didn't get to hear any of the talks because I was wrangling three wiggly kids while Marcelo tried to get Camila to sleep. I didn't get to go to Sunday school because Camila woke up too quickly and was cranky. I didn't get to stay in Relief Society because Camila was being too noisy. I can't complain though, because she's 9 months old and this is the first Sunday that she has been difficult. She just needed a nap.

After church we hung out with my extended family at a park and had a steak lunch. Yeah. Fancy fancy. Then we went to Marcelo's aunt's house for dinner for more family time. At night, Marcelo and I went to bed at 10pm. You have no idea what a big deal this is. It is 10:40 as I type this and we're not even close to heading to bed yet, if that gives you a clue.

On second thought, two early nights would be good for me. I am "Tired" after all. Goodnight!

Tough Cookie

Warning...this is a graphic story about Eliana's injury on Sunday. Read only if you can handle that type of thing!!

Sunday morning was eventful. First, the kids excitedly woke us up to tell us they had made us breakfast. I had made banana muffins the night before, and Marcelo had bought some mini bagels. Bright and early, the kids set up plates around the coffee table in the living room and gave us each a banana muffin and a mini bagel covered in Smart Balance margarine and sprinkles. So thoughtful. They only had 3 chairs, the little wooden kid sized ones we have for them, so they were sitting in chairs and Marcelo and I were kneeling by the coffee table eating our breakfast. From one moment to the next, Eliana leaned back in her chair and it tipped backward and either she kneed herself in the chin, or the chair hit her chin. The more likely story is that her knee is what hit her chin. She immediately started crying, like big time "I'm hurt" crying. I thought she bit her tongue, so I held her and kind of cupped her chin to look at her tongue. There was a tad bit of blood, so I thought that was what she was in pain from. But then I pulled my hand away from her chin and there was blood in my hand. That's when I thought, "Crap. This is ending in stitches." I tipped her chin up and saw a gash that definitely looked stitch worthy. I told Marcelo, "We have to take her to the hospital." He came to look and agreed. It was way too open. He grabbed me a towel and I just put pressure on it while I talked to her explaining that we had to take her to the doctor. She just whimpered, "I don't want to go to the doctor! I want to go to the post office!" (She hates the post office...so that was pretty funny.) But she wasn't freaking out or screaming or anything. Marcelo ran to get dressed and I called my mom and asked if I could drop the kids off. I started telling the boys to hurry and get dressed because they were going to Tata's house, and Celo moved at a snail's pace. There may have been some not so gentle reminders that, "THIS IS AN EMERGENCY" at this point. Then Marcelo took over putting pressure on Eliana's chin while I ran to get dressed. I changed Camila, packed her a bottle and diapers, and then I stopped to take a picture of Eliana's open wound. I was going to post it, but I thought it might be disturbing because it looked pretty bad. Marcelo put band aid strips on Eliana's chin to hold us over till we got to the hospital, and we herded the kids into the car. I sat on the floor next to Eliana in case she started touching her chin, but it was really unnecessary because she was totally calm on the way to the hospital. When we got there, I dropped Marcelo off with her and then headed down to meet my dad to drop the other 3 kids off. By the time I got back to the hospital, they had already done the cleaning part and had removed a little of the fat (gross, sorry) that had come out of the hole...so she basically got a little double chin tuck. Marcelo said she cried but that it wasn't terrible and that she had taken it all surprisingly well. A few minutes after I got there, the doctor came in to glue the wound shut instead of doing stitches. He had to pinch it together and hold it like that as he glued it. He told her what he was going to do and that it would hurt a little bit, and I just held her hand and rubbed her head and kept trying to reassure her. She was scared, but was trying to be soooo tough. As the doctor told her what was happening, she just said in a scared little voice, "Okay." And she just sat there still as can be, while he glued and glued and glued. After a few layers of glue, she said, "Don't touch my chin." She was done. But he just said he was almost done and she stayed calm and toughed it out, breathing through the pain. I was amazed. He kept saying she was his favorite patient ever because of how calm and sweet she was through the whole ordeal. Here she is immediately after. She was watching tv and we were waiting for the glue to dry. You can see in the bottom corner that she's holding my hand. 

All fixed. Glued shut like it never happened. Looks like the scar will be way better than if they had stitched it. It would have taken about 3 stitches.

She did fine all day yesterday. A little worn out, but fine. Today, her chin was bothering her so I gave her Tylenol a couple of times.

All in all, I have just been amazed at what a tough little cookie this girl is. As Tato would say, she took it like a man. (haha) The same could not be said for her brothers. Boys are wimpy, what can I say? ;) I don't know why I'm surprised. At 4 months old, she literally cried for like 10 seconds when she got her ears pierced. Camila, on the other hand, is most likely going to be a softy!

One funny thing was that on the way to the hospital, Diego was asking who has had stitches. We said Celo had them when he was 18 months old and that I have had stitches, too (didn't mention that I've actually had staples...4 times, my dear children...4 times). Diego said, "Has Daddy? Oh wait. I KNOW Daddy has had stitches." The way he said it was like, "Is that even a question? He gets stitches like, all the time." And, the doctor in the ER who treated Eliana has actually treated Marcelo's wounds in the ER twice. The cut on his fingers in his yard work accident, and the cut on his other finger when the 50 lb drill fell on it at work. (And this is the guy who thinks he can convince me that it would be "safe" for him to get a motorcycle. Not. gonna. happen, my dear sweet husband.)

So glad it wasn't worse! So grateful my parents were able to help on such short notice. And SO hoping that my kids will finally learn why we do not lean back in our chairs!! (But probably not because Celo did it exactly 5 minutes after Eliana split her chin open from doing that.) So far, in the few "emergency situations" we've had with either ourselves or our kids, Marcelo and I have been a team and have kept a level head. So THERE, 15 year old me!!!! (Um, in case you don't know, 15 year old me left my brother stranded in the kitchen with fire all around him and ran out of the house instead of getting the fire extinguisher that was RIGHT BEHIND ME. He's ok, don't worry.) Glad to know I no longer panic in stressful situations. I pray that I don't have to find out how I would react in an even higher stress situation! Maybe if I keep my kids in a nice little risk free bubble, there will never be injuries worse than this. Please? I beg. Seeing them in pain is the worst.