Sofi is here!

Sofia Rojas was born on April 20th. We went to visit her when she was 2 weeks old. She's so cute!! She has so much more hair than Diego. She looks just like Tio Andres.

Diego is 3 months old now. He has bad acid reflux. It started at about 2 months. He spits up a TON after he eats. His pediatricion (which I love, btw) doesn't want to put him on medication. He says he'll grow out of it. It's hard though, because everywhere I go, I have to pack like 5 bibs and five burp cloths, and sometimes that's not even enough! He was super fussy and uncomfortable while we were visiting Tio Andres. I tried to tell them that he's not usually like that, but the first impression he gave them was of a fussy, cranky baby. But I swear, he's not usually like that! He's a happy boy! But I had a really acidic drink (maracuyá, yum!) the morning we were there, and he didn't like it one bit.

I Love Diego

So Diego is now 7 weeks old. I can't believe how fast the time has gone. I remember when I had 7 weeks left of being pregnant and I thought it would never end.

I'll start with the superficial stuff. I have 10 pounds to lose to get back to pre-pregnancy weight. But if I lose 5 I will be fine with that. Because when I look at my pre-pregnancy pictures I think I may have been a little too skinny. I have stretch marks on my sides and a doughy belly that I hate. My workout routine was supposed to start today but Diego had other plans so I didn't get around to it.

Ok, that's it for the body woes.

Diego is doing very well. He is gaining a ton of weight. The sleep isn't great, but it could be worse. He is on a very strict 3 hour schedule. He eats every three hours, almost on the dot. One night, he stretched it out to 4 hours and that extra hour of sleep was WONDERFUL, but he hasn't done it again. Two women yesterday asked me how he sleeps and when I said, "He wakes up every 3 hours, so not too bad." They said, "Wow, I guess I'm lucky. My baby sleeps for 8 hours straight." Yeah, and one of the babies is 6 days younger than Diego. I was like, shut up.

Anyway, I'm having lots of fun with the little guy. I'm so glad I get to stay home with him. I'm so in love with him. Marcelo and I just stare at him sometimes. He's been smiling at us for the past two weeks. It makes me melt.

So like a good annoying proud parent, I am going to post pictures now. This is the one I took of him when he turned a month old.

This is him trying to smile.

And this one is just cute.

Alright, I'm done. :)

Diego's Birth Story

Okay, so it has taken me a month, but here it is. My birth story.

Diego Aiden is here!

He was born on February 1, 2006. He weighed in at a whopping 6 pounds even! Tiny! He was 19.5 inches long.Here’s how it went down.

At 4:00 am on Wednesday morning, I woke up feeling a little trickle of water. I thought to myself, “Did my water just break?”, waited five minutes, felt another trickle, and decided I’d get up to use the bathroom. My undies were wet, but not soaked. When I wiped, I had some clear mucous tinged with blood. So I figured I was losing my mucous plug and laid back down. At 4:30 I started having contractions every 8 to 10 minutes for two hours straight. At 6:30 I decided to call my doctor’s office. I said, “I think my water may have broken and I’m having contractions.” They said the doctor would call me right back. That never happened. I kept feeling little trickles for the next two hours. They were a little pink. So I wasn’t sure if it was my water of the mucous plug, but I wanted to play it safe. My contractions stayed at 10 minutes apart until 7:30, and then slowed to 15 minutes until about 8:30, and then slowed to 30 minutes until 10:30. At 10:30, I called the doctor’s office again. I said, I think my water broke, I called this morning, but the doctor never called me back. I described to the nurse what happened, and she said, “If it wasn’t a gush of liquid, it wasn’t your water breaking. Time your contractions for the next hour, put on clean undies, and call me back in an hour to let me know if you’ve had a big gush. If it’s just a trickle, it’s not your water breaking.” Obviously, she’s retarded. Marcelo came back from work to check on me right after I hung up, so I told him, “You know what, I’m going to lie and tell her I had a gush just so she’ll check me.” So I called back at 11 and lied. At 11:45, I went in to be checked. By this time, my contractions had completely stopped. As soon as they started to check me, water gushed out. The dr said my water had definitely broken and I needed to get to the hospital to be induced.

I went home to grab a few things we had forgotten and to grab a bite to eat before what we thought would be a long road ahead. At 1:30, I arrived at the hospital. By 2pm, they had me on Pitocin. I asked if there was anything we could do to avoid getting put on Pitocin because I was so afraid it would make it harder to go natural, but they said that since my water had broken, they were racing the clock and I needed to have the baby as soon as possible to avoid infection. So I got on Pitocin. At 2:30, I started having contractions every 3 – 5 minutes. They were not fun. Each time I had a contraction, the baby’s heart rate went way down. They tried making me change positions and did whatever they could to see if things would change, but the baby was really distressed and his heart rate was just dropping too low. At 3:30, my doctor checked me again. I was at 3.5cm. He said the baby was just not responding well, and that if this was happening this early in the game, it was just too dangerous. Soooooo……

C-SECTION.

I said, “Ok, do whatever you have to do. That’s perfectly fine.” And then I burst into tears. Not because I was disappointed, but because I was terrified. They wheeled me into the OR before my Marcelo and my FIL had a chance to give me a blessing. Everything was happening so fast. I kept crying because I really really wanted a blessing first. They put a stupid catheter in me and I was still having contractions, so I was VERY uncomfortable. So when they put the spinal in, I was not a bit concerned by it. It didn’t hurt at all. And just 2 minutes later, my lower body went numb, so it was bliss. Marcelo came into the room dressed in scrubs. He had a mask on, and all I could see were his eyes. He looked terrified. He sat next to me and whispered, “I’m going to give you a blessing. But I’m going to do it in my head.” So he put his hands on my head and while the doctors were buzzing around and talking, he gave me a blessing. At 4:03pm, Diego was born. Like I said, everything happened soooo fast. He came out crying. It was amazing. They showed him to me all bloody and purple. Then they cleaned him up and showed him to me again before they took him to get tests done. I didn’t see him again for an hour. That was the hardest part, emotionally.

My wound is healing nicely. The first three days were rough, but after that, the recovery was way easier than I had expected. Diego is doing great at breastfeeding. My lactation specialist in the hospital was THE BEST. Things are going very well and I’m deliriously happy. My tiny little man is sleeping right now. He's been fussy today.

I can't believe he'll be a month old tomorrow! Here's a picture of him with his daddy.

2.5 Centimeters

2.5??? That's it??? I was really hoping for more progress. I went to my appointment today and found out I'm 2.5 cm dialated and 80% effaced. BOOOOOOOOO.

The doctor said she was surprised to see me because she thought I'd have the baby by now. I yelled, "Stop giving me false hope!!!" No, I didn't. But I was thinking it.

Here is my 38 week picture. Since I'm taking pictures every two weeks, I really hope this is the last picture I take because I don't want to make it another two weeks!!! But I still I have 11 days left until my due date. PLEASE PLEASE DIEGO, come this weekend!!!

I told Marcelo that this whole waiting thing is just not for me. I said, "I'm not a patient person. I'm not one of those people that can go past their due date. It just can't happen." Marcelo was like, "So what are you going to do about it?" Good point. THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.

Alright, I'm going to go watch Oprah to get baby off my mind.

TWO CENTIMETERS

I am now 2 cm dialated and 70% effaced. And his head is low. And I'm cramping every single day.

Except today.

I think the process has stopped. I don't think he's coming as soon as I hoped. I want him to be born next week. But I think it might still be two weeks away. I'm too impatient for this!!!

My shower is Saturday. At least that's something I can look forward to.

Ok, so here is a picture of me 36 weeks pregnant. I'm about that same size still. Maybe a little bigger. I'll have Marcelo take another picture on Saturday, when I hit 38 weeks.

It's blurry because the camera was dirty. That reminds me, I should clean the lens.

My feelings at this point:

Tired - I'm so sleepy and tired. Just thinking about the sleepless nights that lie ahead makes me want to get under the covers and nap as much as possible.

Anxious - I just want to get labor over with. I'm anticipating contractions everyday and I just want it to hurry up and happen!

Scared - I'm freaking out that I won't know how to do anything a mother is supposed to do. I'm scared about breastfeeding and how much it will hurt and how frustrating it will be.

Sad - Marcelo and I have been trying to rent out our old house for weeks and haven't found anyone to live in it, so trying to find someone is occupying ALL of our time and I really want to hang out with him before baby makes three. We're running out of time to do all the stuff I wanted to do....like go out to eat, go to the movies, go walk around the park with hot chocolate, rent movies and snuggle up on the couch, and tons of other little things like that. Even though I'm so excited about the baby, I'm sad to let go of this part of my life with Marcelo. Man. Now I want him to hurry up and get home from class so I can squeeze him.

Excited - More than anything I'm crazy excited about this huge event that is about to take place. I want to meet Diego and hold him and kiss him and take care of him. I can't wait anymore!!!

Ok, time to catch up on my paper journal. I haven't written in it for weeks.

ONE CENTIMETER

Would you like to know some interesting news about my cervix? I am one centimeter dialated and 50% effaced. So the process has begun.

I'm not overly excited because I am aware that I could be dialated to a 1 for weeks and weeks to come.

I can't believe I only have 3 weeks and 2 days till my due date! Time has flown. Tomorrow is my last day at work, which means it will be the last day I have to deal with training my replacement who knows NOTHING about computers. No, you don't understand. NOTHING. Like, not even the difference between the caps lock key and the tab key. Any idea how to cut and paste? No. When I right click, she says, "How did you get that little box to pop up?" Are you serious???

Not to be a computer snob, but SHEESH. It's just not fair that I had to have a bachelor's degree to get this job, and she dropped out of school in 9th grade and gets to have it. But this world is all about connections and her aunt works at the paper. So there you have it.

Back to my cervix. I'm scared. But ready. Bring it on. I just want to get it over with. I'm tired of all the waiting. And I still have three weeks. Imagine me when I'm a week overdue. Ohhh, I'll be bummed if that happens.

Baby Diego can't come next week though because my parents will be in Paris. I don't want to go into labor while they're gone. I need my mommy to hold my hand....and possibly save my husband's life when I am screaming, "You did this to me!" Just kidding, I'm not going to be a psycho pregnant chick. Or who knows, maybe I will be. No.....I don't think so. I think I'll be really quiet and just concentrate. That's how I usually am with pain. That's how my mom was with all three labors. We'll see. Maybe I'll surprise myself and be like one of those women on A Baby Story who yell and scream and moan and make faces. Whatever I do, I'm sure I'll be writing it in detail later.

Stay tuned.

Sadness

I'm at work, trying to ignore the stuff I have to do.

I just want to cry right now.

There is too much sadness in the world. There are too many bad things happening to good people. It's not fair. It makes me furious and so sad. And there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

It's such a risk we take in this life to love people because we just set ourselves up for pain. None of us can escape it......at one point or another, we're going to lose someone we love. And it's gonna hurt. But we can't stop it.

I'm terrified right now of how much I already love this little baby inside of me. He hasn't even been born yet and I'm already preparing myself for the lifetime of worries and heartache that come with being someone's mother.

I would be easier to be one of those people that just closes their heart off to everyone so they never get hurt. Thinking about all the sadness just makes me think, well, if I didn't let myself feel anything, I'd be fine. But somehow, I'm not one of those people. So there will be tears in my life. Lots and lots of tears.

But hopefully, that means lots and lots of love, too.